Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
