I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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