Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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