fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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