I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
