How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
