I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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