Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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