...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
