Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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