HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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