You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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