Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
