He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
