you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
