Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
