People in love make me want to vomit
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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