I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
