I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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