I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
