its not stalking. its research.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
