Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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