hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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