i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
