STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
