we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
