this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
