We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Are we still banned from the library?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
