I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
