I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
