just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
