he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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