i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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