I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
