At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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