He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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