I'm going to jail i love you
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
