Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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