hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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