Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
