His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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