Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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