Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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