So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
