Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
