Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
