my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im about as happy as oj after his trial
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
