Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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