weddingsv make me drug and hornr
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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