he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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