i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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