oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
