i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's like iHOP with fire
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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