Texts From Last Night · tidus1024889's Favorites

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tidus1024889's Favorites Texts:

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.

(201): View more from New Jersey

Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....

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(847): View more from Illinois

sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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(404): View more from Georgia

you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

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(517): View more from Michigan

Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

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(703): View more from Virginia

you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle

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(551): View more from New Jersey

the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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