Texts From Last Night · Chaos377's Favorites

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Chaos377's Favorites Texts:

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(712): View more from Iowa

I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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(631): View more from New York

i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".

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(361): View more from Texas

After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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(213): View more from California

your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.

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(516): View more from New York

onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

(443): View more from Maryland

he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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(210): View more from Texas

Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad

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